Makenna is ONE!!!

 

A video montage of my special girls first year!!

 

I don't know how it happened so quickly, but as of 10/10 our sweet girl is officially one year old!
 The day your child is born is inevitably the best day of your life, and it was for me too; however, even though I am good with words, I'll never quite be able to put it to words the emotions this day stirs up.  I can't explain how it felt to carry my daughter for 9 months knowing there was a 50/50 chance she wouldn't ever come home.  Or how wrong it seemed to give birth and have her whisked away before I even really got see her.  I can't explain the pain that comes from seeing her weak little body lying naked on a table with dozens of lines and wires everywhere or the sadness of not being able to hold her for a month.  Most of all I can't explain how it feels to be robbed of the idealistic birth experience that so many others get to have.  However even with all those emotions, 10/10 was the day my perfect 10 was born.  She came into this world more perfect than I could have ever imagined and I love her more than I ever thought possible. 10/10/13 was as wonderful as it was scary.  As special as it was frightening, and it is the day a very sweet miracle was put on this Earth to do great things.  

This year Makenna has kept us on our toes.  She has given us a million reasons to worry, but also a million reasons to smile.  It has been so rewarding and fun to see her learning, growing, developing, and thriving.  She is incredible and continues to amaze everyone.  She went from being on ECMO with 50% liver up, to coming home in just 6 weeks, cutting her expected recovery time of 3 to 4 months in half!   She started out in the 2nd percentile for weight and they said to expect her to create her own curve, but she has eaten her way into the 35th percentile!  They said to expect her to be on reflux medicine for a long time, but she is about to wean off of them!  She is a true fighter.  She is beating the odds and giving hope to so many people. She proves everyday that anything is possible.  Her motto has always been "I don't want easy, I want crazy" and while at times we wish things were a whole lot less crazy and a whole lot more easy, every event of this year has helped shape her into the adorable little person she is today.  I know as time moves on and she has more life experiences, CDH, hydrocephalus, doctor visits, and therapies will be just a drop in the bucket.   She won't remember that I didn't see her until she was 12 hours old or hold for 28 days. She won't remember her 6 major surgeries, 10 days on ECMO, 42 days in the NICU or 3 return hospitalizations.  The 3 months on oxygen at home, 6 hour ambulance ride and 10 return trips to Gainesville will be like they never happened at all.  She won't remember weekly doctor appointments and therapies, monthly shots, her 7 MRI, 3 CT scans, countless X-rays, or realize how scary this year was for us.  She won't realize the pain, fear, and worry we felt every week as we measured her head and watched it creep 5 lines above the 98th percentile.  She won't get how scary it was to wake up and find her not breathing in the middle of the night, or how terrified we were every second that she would get a respiratory infection that would be catastrophic.  For that I am forever thankful.  But I hope she does realize how much we love her, how hard we fought for her, and that despite the fact this year was so hard and so isolating I wouldn't change it for the world.  Everything got us to where we are now.  She is here, she is amazing, and she is everything I ever could have hoped for and so much more.  I hope she always knows that I love her to the moon and back times a million and would relive this year one thousand times over if it meant I got to spend those one thousand years with her in my arms.  I hope she grows up and proudly owns every one of her scars.  I hope she takes pride in her past and that even though she doesn't remember the journey or struggles, she knows that those bravery marks are indications of how strong she is.  They are what set her apart from others.  They make her unique and special.  They represent how hard she had to fight.  I hope she realizes that she is my hero and proof to the world that miracles happen!

 

 

Makenna's First "Bee Day"  Party!